Aug 4th, 2025

This Tom Clancy book by Rovin is self-flagellating trash… Ironic that the evil, authoritarian, (Chinese!) gulag scenes are so close to my experience in Johnson County. All I could think was “thank God we aren’t sticking people in cramped, filthy cells with dirty water to drink, and the sounds of other prisoners screaming in the distance. I’m so glad this sort of thing never happens in America…” The capricious nature of the authorities, the stark, wretched cells, and the physical rot which then rots the spirit, these are my entire reality at this point. I don’t know what’s worse, people who believe these evils are the exclusive to foreign adversaries, or those who cynically acknowledge the evils of this country as necessary or good.

July 29th, 2025

Maybe the story of the prisoner has more in common with the shipwreck & the castaway. After reading The Life of Pi, it all sort of lines up for me; a tragedy leading to a violent kind of monotony which slowly tears at your physical & mental wellbeing. My boat is a room of chemically enhanced stone, afloat in a sea of razor wire and steel fencing. Every day I must be alert, to keep the tiger at bay, to keep myself intact and alive. Otherwise, I’ll slowly start to fall apart from the inside out. Perhaps the monotony of the prison can lead to the same kind of madness that strikes at sea.